As I write this I'm holding in the tears and feel so sad. Backstory: was with my ex for 8 years and it was a very unhealthy relationship, on both parts I can't just blame him as I used to react to his abuse. I won't go into the actual details because I have over 8 years worth but let's just say he treated me badly throughout. We split up over a year ago now and although it was tough, I now feel free and I don't have to live on eggshells anymore. So fast forward to now: I have anxiety and depression (been diagnosed since my breakup but had symptoms during the relationship), I was on antidepressants for a while and when I moved into my own place after the breakup I felt good I decided to stop taking them. I haven't had them for a few months. However, lately my anxiety has flared up and I also now have some serious health anxiety making me think I have cancer with every little pain I feel in my body. I've gone back to my doctor about this and have gone back on my antidepressants. I know I shouldn't have suddenly come off them the last time (my doctor explained everything and how the weaning process works)

So, my problem is this: I miss my ex lately, really bad! We see each other all the time because we share a child and usually I can look at him and feel nothing. I don't even want him back but I miss him and want him here, maybe for comfort? I'm on day 3 of my antidepressants so I'm wondering if it's those making me feel like this? I'm over him, I've been over him a while, he got with someone else and they moved in together straight away after breaking up and at first it really hurt but now I'm actually happy for him, I just don't understand why I feel like this? I'm not even remotely attracted to him in any way, but I just feel sad that we broke up, even though the relationship was toxic. Grrrr wth is wrong with me! Also please don't suggest therapy as I'm not at that point, it's only been a few days that I've felt like this, since I got back ony meds