I'm miserable

Rant post

I'm so tired of everyone saying "baby will come when he's ready!" And "hang in there, you could still have another two weeks!" I'm 39 weeks today and my mental health has never been worse. I'm single, the father isn't involved and I have no help with anything. I'm alone 24/7, in pain, peeing every 20 minutes, and he's just so heavy 😭 I feel massive, my self esteem has gone out the window and I'm just so so so miserable. My OB won't even discuss induction until 41 weeks, I can't take this anymore😔 she tried to do a sweep at my last appointment on monday but I'm not even dilated or effaced AT ALL. I know this can change rapidly and doesn't mean I won't go into labour soon, but I was really hoping I could at least try and get a sweep to move things along. He hasn't even dropped yet, there's no sign of him coming anytime soon and I'm just starting to get so hysterical, I don't even know what to do anymore. I already had mental health issues and I swear once I got pregnant they've just been slowly getting worse and I'm at my breaking point. I tried talking to my doulas about this as well and they're very much "hang in there!"

Idk if I can "hang in there" any longer. I'm so insanely depressed. I just want my body back to myself, I want to be able to roll over again, or to stand longer than 10 seconds without getting winded, and to stop gaining so much damn weight. I just want to be me again, I'm tired of the constant braxton hicks, the movements, the pain, I need it to stop.