finding out i have herpes

For the past 3 days i’ve been experiencing unbearable pains on my areas . i was trying to use the bathroom and go number 2 but i was so sore down there that i haven’t made a bowl movement in 2 days . when i went pee i felt a burning sensation that is extremely painful and i was thinking maybe it was a uti so i then got medicine cause i thought i had a hemorrhoid and uti but when i would pee my skin near my areas would burn so much so i finally went to urgent care and they tested me for herpes because they seen ulcers on my vulva … i am really sad and hurt . i have nobody to talk to and i am scared . i am going through so much pain right now mentally and physically it’s very hard . i thought about ending my life today after the doctor told me what she thinks it is . i am sorry if this seems so insensitive but idk how to deal with this . this is very hard for me . i have a “rash” and everything burns it including water . i was prescribed topical anesthetic cream but i am very scared to apply it because if water is burning these sores i know this cream will . i am going through a lot of things and i just need comfort right now . the guy i was talking to that gave me herpes i found out he had a girlfriend … but idk how to tell him he gave me herpes i’ve been seeing this guy for some time and i haven’t slept with anyone else or experienced these symptoms since having sex with him . i genuinely don’t know what to do . if anyone has any advice that they think could be helpful please don’t hesitate to comment … ( i need as much helpful and positivity i can’t get right now i’m going through a lot )