Opinions or advice…

Me and my finance have been together 8 years and have our 8mo old baby girl. Since having the baby, everything about freedom for me went out the door. I’m the default parent. I’m a SAHM so I’m stuck with every piece of responsibility when it comes to having the baby every day and keeping up with the house. I cook, clean, laundry, grocery shop, do yard work. I don’t even have a chance to think about myself unless it’s how miserable I am. My fiancé works from 10am-10pm. We get 2-3 hours together which we spend watching Shameless and going to bed. I get zero free time. On the weekends he stays up until 3 am drinking and playing video games with his friends. I’m sleeping because I’m exhausted. He sleeps in until 11-12 o clock in the morning. I’ve been up for 5 hours already cleaning, feeding the baby, making sure she’s entertained. Cooking breakfast, doing laundry. Once in a while he will go out with his friends. I’m home with the baby cause I don’t have friends. He says “my mom will watch her” then what? Then I get to sit at home alone? I’m exhausted. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Sad. Negative. He asked me why I’m so negative all the time. I said there’s nothing to be positive about. I’m angry all the time. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’m mean to my fiancé all the time. I just don’t have the patience anymore. We are filing for bankruptcy next week. We have no money. I have to be a SAHM because we don’t have money for a sitter and no one is close enough to watch her during the week. I’m so stressed out I have no reason to be positive at all. I’m tired of feeling this way. I want to be happy for my baby. I want to be able to bring her out. I want the energy to take her places and have fun and be a family. But we just can’t. I feel like a single mom when I used to be in a very good relationship before the baby. I love being a mom. But being a mom is hard in so many aspects. I wanted to enjoy life with a baby. Now I just feel like I have a baby. My life is gone.