Kids sleeping with parents

I am just wondering if I am being unreasonable.

I have two kids with a man that has 7 (counting my two) our two together are 16 months and 1 month old. I’m annoyed because I just woke for a feeding for the newborn and found our 16 month old in the bed with us. I know that my husband is going to say “he kept waking up and it’s only this once” but know better. I think it’s sweet how much much he loves his kids but I think he is too soft sometimes. Literally the smallest little cry from the nursery and he wants to go get the toddler. I get wanting to comfort him but sometimes he cries just to see how fast we come running. I can tell the difference between the real cry and the I want to get our of bed cry. If I am awake when it happens I don’t let him go get the baby. The thing is though with the newborn I’m extra tired so I am not always awake enough to catch it.

I know it is frustrating when he wakes up a few times a night but when I go in to his room, I change his diaper, maybe get him a drink, and then put him back to bed. He goes to sleep eventually and it’s all good. My husband doesn’t do that most of the time. If I’m not there to stop him, he gets him out of his crib and takes him in the living room to let him play or watch tv for a while. I looked on the baby monitor feed after I found him sleeping next to me and that is what happened tonight. Then my husband puts him back to bed and 30 minutes later, when the toddler is awake but laying calmly in his crib (meaning he will go to sleep very soon) my husband comes in and brings him to bed with us. This is about ten minutes before the newborn woke me up.

Long story short, I want to take the toddler back to bed but I Know that my husband is going to complain. I feel like kids shouldn’t sleep in bed with mom and dad unless there’s some specific reason. Like a real bad dream or extenuating circumstances. I wasn’t allowed to sleep with my parents growing up and added to that, I guess this may be selfish, bed is the one place where I am mostly kid free. I am the mother of two kids under two. I do not get breaks unless I am sleeping. And even then, it’s not a total break because I have two kids under two. I do not want to make it a thing. I’m concerned about it because when we first started dating, my husbands 5 year old slept with us whenever she was over and she did so for 3 years. I am not trying to have that happen with my son.

I guess I just need to know if I need to get over it and let this happen for tonight or if I should be worried this will start a trend.