Weaning is TOUGH-vent session

My second daughter is about to turn one. And my plan is to slowly stop pumping at work but let her nurse in the mornings if she wants too. Shes only nursing by choice 3 times a day right now. My supply is just not keeping up with the days I have to work to provide enough bottles.

But my oldest daughter wants to nurse. I weaned her at 13 months abruptly bc of a medication I had to take. And it was sad for us both. Shes 3 now.

It's making me crazy emotional. We aren't having any more children. And I need closure in this phase of my life. And I don't want to say no to my three year old. I've let her try it again and she doesn't seem super interested once I offer after she asks. But it just brings back a lot of memories from when I had to stop feeding her. It's just like she's only become interested again now that I'm needing to stop breastfeeding. I feel like I let her down. I got so sick when I had to wean her, then I got pregnant again and threw up all mine months, then after my second was born , I hemorrhaged twice and thought I was going to die, so for weeks I couldn't be there when she needed me, then my second ended up having some medical issues we had to work through and my oldest had to deal with me not being there for her again. I just feel like I've constantly let her down. Both my daughters are the sweetest babies and I love them dearly. Mom guilt is just the worst.