How do I get him on board?

Question

I have been with my husband since we were 16, we are now 26 and ready in every way to start a family... Graduated college and working on masters degrees both have full time fabulous jobs... And he's so afraid and keeps saying he's not ready I told him I am fine waiting until he is ready knowing it is the largest commitment either of us have ever made. Truth be told it's killing me and I don't want to talk to him more about it because I feel like it pushes him farther away from wanting to have a baby soon. We had planned that we would be trying currently but he's still not ready, we (yes we decided together) even went as far as stopping birth control 6 months ago but now he's so nervous he uses a condom and it's awful!!! I don't know what to do if anything? Any advise or encouragement would be great!

Answer

I would be a littler nicer about it. I know that we planned to start trying and then my husband wanted to push it back another year. Well, we finally decided (after many adult conversations) to go ahead and start trying. It took us 9 months to conceive, so I'm glad we didn't wait another year, but my husband got a little more time. He has told me many times since (our son is now 3) how scary it is for a guy, no matter when you have the baby. He was 30, me 28, when we had our son. We had both finished our masters degrees and had good, study, well paying jobs. It's just scary for a guy. They don't grow up dreaming about kids like we do. And it will probably still be scary for him until the baby is here because they don't feel the baby inside them like you do every waking moment. Good luck Hun!

Answer

It is not unusual for a male to want to wait until he's 30+ to plan to have a child. Of course there are men who are younger than 30 who get the urge have a baby and that's perfectly  normal also. Ask him when his ideal age would be to have a child and go from there. If he says 28 or 30 you can discuss the pros and cons. Good luck!

Answer

Perhaps you can discuss the percentages of conceiving each month and explain that it takes a lot of couples up to a year or more before they actually conceive. You're on a biological clock. For men, they don't really have to worry about their sperm quality decreasing until their 40's-50's. Women have to worry about it much sooner because our egg quality, and production, start to decrease at 30. Approach him with the statistics and ask him to take a week to think of the pros and cons of taking the next step. Both of you can write them down and discuss each other's point of views after the week is up.

Answer

I think you should let him know how uncomfortable it is for you. Personally ode say suck it. It's my body and if I want a cute little bundle of joy then it's my decision. Or no sex for him if it makes me uncomfortable how he goes about it.. You've been together from 16.. That's more than commitment enough ide say. You could always try to sit him down and ask what exactly he's running from or scared of. Bc clearly it's not commitment girly. You've been together too long to say commitment. Unless 9 years means baby scraps to you?! 
Hope this helps ❤️👍🏽 GL

How do I get him on board?

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