Extremely self conscious during sex

So my current partner used to be very into strip clubs, private dances, skinny girls with big bootys and nice boobs etc, and obviously who cares what he did while he was single. But here’s my struggle, I’ve had two kids (not with him, from previous marriage) and my body is just not what I want it to be. But he wants to have sex with the lights on, wants me to wear lingerie, be really open sexually and I for some reason just can’t. I can’t get past my ridiculous insecurity of knowing what he’s seen and done and feel like I’m just going to be a disappointment that he’ll have to force himself through. I’ll catch his eyes wandering a lot at other women and I just feel so insecure. Idk what’s wrong with me. We don’t really have much sex because of my insecurities. How do I get past this? Please be kind. I’m not bashing on him. I’m really trying to figure this out for myself.