Hi ladies,

Sorry for the long essay

Is it possible to be the reason your partner be ones violent? Is it possible that your partner has never done it before am I the cause? I am ques if he has never done it. His ex has raised he has been violent physically and verbally, when he didn't get things in the bedroom how he wanted etc that was another one. I admit when I hear something I don't like or isn't true,, my attitude comes out when I don't like it, I also try to make my point when I believe that I have done something or what's being said isn't right. When this happens he becomes nasty and physical.

I'll keep it short.

Tonight he started gaslighting, well I believe he was. So there's been 3 days where I have done every feed and care for our baby aswell as our eldest and housework,taking our children out, cooking,organising babies bits and making sure we have everything prepped and ready this is along with looking after him when he wasn't feeling good, this was massaging his head,neck and shoulders from 10:30 till 4am (roughly) looked after him again Sunday,

offered to help him Monday as he had a flare up with his stomach and head in the night, offered to help him and made him his drinks and got medications and when I offered to help rub his head and neck he told me not to bother, I took our little one upstairs so he could rest,I took care of little one and even left him to sleep in whilst I got up with baby and our eldest in the morning, I did all of this this whilst I'm running on fumes, having flare ups of my migraines which can cause paralysis,speak defects etc, and spasms in my back which affects my leg.i had a car crash 5 years ago and I have disk degenerative disease,

bare in mind I did all the above He said about how I would leave our 3 week old with him when he feels like crap, he may not wake up or is to tired to care for baby, I was exhausted yesterday,.struggling to stay awake, migraine was really bad and my back was in bits and pain killers etc didn't work, so I left baby with him the second he said it wasn't a good idea as he wasn't good,I took our baby and did everything throughout the night,

Tonight it started hes struggling with his head,I offered to help him he told me not to bother and go to bed, I went into the kirchen to prep bottles and the powder pots for the feeds, I took them through, he then starts with I don't do anything till the last minute,i,e looking after him, I am happy to leave our baby when he isn't in a for state, I have no consideration for him, I pointed out what I had done and did do, but no I'm in the wrong for that.im struggling with my head and I'm so tired physically and mentally,he launched a pillow at me and told me to change my attitude or it will be something hard next, I mentioned about him about consideration and he gets up and boots me in my back, he then slams the door, I responded with there was no need for that, he then opens the door I'm walking into the kitchen to finish the botles,I'm facing away from him and he smacks me across my face and ear, he then walks away and slams the door, I'm in the kitchen he comes into the kitchen and starts again calling me a chav, scum etc that he warned me, I said all I did was say about consideration and he launched an candle holder towards me I flinched and it hit the cupboards. He then left to go shop, he rang his mum andade me out to be the bad one in this.

As soon as something is said he doesn't like or someone else is right he changes. But it's all my fault, I've made him like this, I am the reason he's having to rebuild everything again, why his business failed and why his life is in ruins, I'm always surfing FF him, I'll never change, he's tried getting rid of me because I'm a waste of space and will never better myaelf. I got all my bits to leave the other day and he stopped me, he's currently training to be a mental health counselor. He made a remark about how he's taking the course because he knows all about it and knows what he's doing. Am I to blame do I deserve him doing this. I'm sat here thinking I deserve everything I get. Everything he said I have taken it and said yes that's my fault and yes I did that and no he didn't deserve it. My head is mentally in ruins. Am I in the wrong