What to do?

I’m a plus sized woman 31, never been confident in my myself nor my body. An ex colleague of mine 40. Always liked me while I never reciprocated since we were working in the same company. Since I moved I thought of him a couple of times. While I know we won’t match when it comes to a relationship. We are too different but My GOSH I like how he talks to me. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. I want him physically and want him to fuck my brains out. But I don’t know what to do. 😭