**I have revised some wording on here that was getting misconstrued. Hoping this helps!

Hi all. I'd love your thoughts on this.

My husband and I were blessed on Christmas Day 2020 when our daughter was born. We've been wanting to continue to grow our family ever since!

We currently live 2,000 miles away from where we were raised and where all of our family lives. Due to the pandemic, I went through a very traumatic HG pregnancy basically in solitude. This was my first pregnancy and his family's first grandchild. When we found out we were pregnant in April 2020 I waited 8 weeks, until it was confirmed by my doctor to reveal to his family. I had to tell everyone in his family the most exciting news of our life over Zoom due to travel restrictions and spent my entire pregnancy unable to celebrate with anyone in person. It was not ideal and like I said my pregnancy went on to be traumatic and lonely. I buried my only sibling when I was 6 months pregnant.

Flash forward to now, my husband and I have been trying for a second child (and we succeeded this month!!!). Literally two days after we tried my sister in law revealed that she was 12 weeks pregnant! She had revealed she suffered a miscarriage in silence prior to this which is why she chose to wait 12 weeks to announce (I am assuming). We did not tell her that we tried for a baby a few days prior since it was way too soon to know if it had worked or not.

I found out I was pregnant extremely early and am just 4 weeks today. My sister in law is roughly 14 weeks or so and still hasn't revealed it on social media. I am quite honestly not sure the extent of who she's told as we live far away and she told us over the phone.

As far as my personal beliefs (just adding here for additional perspective on why I would like to share sooner rather than later), which I have not shared yet with my sister in law.. I personally do not believe in waiting to tell people, as it is my personal spiritual belief that every pregnancy I am blessed with is worth celebrating with my close family even if it doesn't have the ideal outcome. I also would likely need the support of his family (again - mine are all deceased) in the event of a loss, especially given the recent death of my brother, because although my sister in law told me her loss was no big deal to her, I know I would need to do some serious grieving with support. Also, we have a trip home scheduled in two weeks time. I finally have the opportunity to reveal my pregnancy to the people I love most (and who care the most!) in person!

However now I am a little worried and have anxiety that if I reveal my pregnancy to his family at just 6 weeks that my sister in law will feel as though I am "stealing her thunder". I use this terminology because it's her first child and it doesn't appear to be general knowledge just yet. I also think she deserves a spotlight if that's what she wants (I don't know if this is what she wants, again we aren't close. I'm trying to consider all angles). Especially because I do not know the extent of who she's told her exciting news to.

For the above mentioned reasons I personally really don't want to wait 8 weeks to reveal this time, especially since I have an opportunity to see their expressions and celebrate in person.

I've thought about telling my sister in law first before anyone else, even grandparents and explaining we had been trying before they told us. I honestly didn't deliberately get pregnant at the same time. We obviously aren't close but admittedly I've always wished we were, and especially after losing my only sibling I want to be gentle and accommodating of her potential feelings and am secretly hoping (and there's a strong possibility) she will be elated and this could be a bonding experience for us.

Honestly the more I think about it the more I believe if she's upset with me revealing at 6 weeks that it's maybe her own fears of loss or concern, and that shouldn't be pushed onto me, and I shouldn't have to suppress our wonderful news for anyone else's sake. Does that make me a huge bitch? What would you do if you were me?

Any input appreciated.