what made you love your SO, hubby, partner etc?

Question

i’m getting to a point where i’m realizing my worth and realizing I was using “love” in the wrong way. like I would go based off of different things when in reality it’s other things that makes people fall in love with whoever they are with. what made you fall in love with the person you are with? i’m going to be single and celibate for a while so I can go based off of my actual feelings and how they treat me and also take time to work on myself i’m so disinterested in guys at the moment. i’m just curious though!

Answer

Falling in love is very different than staying in love. Falling in love is an unconscious, spur-of-the-moment, oxytocin-influenced kind of thing. Staying in love is CHOOSING to love that person when you want to hate them, sometimes. I’ve been with my hubby for 11 years and we’ve definitely had our low moments, but I think the thing that really makes me love him is that he always chose me in those moments. Even when I was hateful, mean, all-around unlikeable, and I’ve done the same for him. Of all the things we got fed up with each other over and came so close to calling it “quits” more than a handful of times, we had to consciously choose and fight for our life together. In hindsight, we see a lot of those frustrations and low moments were temporary circumstances that almost got the best of us. In every relationship, there are forces from every direction trying to pry you apart (not speaking of infidelity or abusiveness, because those are obvious deal breakers), whether it’s something about them that annoys the crap out of you, something mama & them said about the person, etc. My husband and I are an inseparable team, and through the years we have learned to work together as a team (vs competing with each other like we did when we were young and didn’t know any better) and to always make the effort to choose to love each other sacrificially and not go to bed mad after the first night (when you need to just give things a break and sleep on it). It’s not always easy, but it is so so rewarding when you can look back and say, “Hey, remember that one time? We made it through that together.” 😊

Answer

He’s been in my life for over 20 years. He makes me laugh and knows me better than I know myself. He knows me even from my breathing. I don’t even have to say a word, he’s so receptive he can read facial expressions and body language. We never fight or argue. Anything that comes up gets resolved immediately. He’s my rock. My peace. Have the same sex drive and kinks. We are each other’s fantasies. We can finish each other’s sentences and know what the other is thinking. I swear he can read my mind. He’s got the quickest sense of humor. If I’m overwhelmed or stressed the first thing he asks me is do you want advice or do you need to vent. If it’s vent he knows not to take anything I say seriously and when I’m done we talk about it. Been over 2 years and it’s still like the beginning. I still am amazed and in awe of him. He’s truly my best friend. He notices and appreciates and admires everything which I love about him when previous partners wouldn’t have noticed if my leg was missing. He’s so level headed. We both want the same things in life. No complaints. He’s my balance.

Answer

Sorry this is so long but one of my favorite stories to share of my husband 🥰 
One of the things that made me realize how much he loved me was we were at a park where they had their sprinklers on and we were running through them then walking back to my apartment. On our way back one of my feet sunk in the ground almost to my knee. When I pulled my foot out my flip flop was gone! He immediately stuck his arm in the ground above his elbow (almost to the shoulder) and found my flip flop! He HATES getting dirty/sticky but didn't think twice about retrieving my flip flop for me. I was too shocked when it happened I didn't even consider going after it. We had to walk about 5 blocks back to his apartment so he could clean up instead of the 3 to mine. He was so uncomfortable but never said a negative word about it and was happy he was able to find my flip flop. Years later he said that was one of the grossest things he's done but is still just happy he did it so I didn't have to or had to walk home with only one shoe. 
He sacrificed his comfort for my minor inconvenience and he has always been like that too in so many small ways, putting me first before I even realize it. He says that the thing that makes him the happiest is when I'm happy. Another thing I love is that when I start my period the next day he goes to work he will stop by the grocery store on his way home and pick up 5-7 items that I love and usually crave. It is so sweet and totally out of his way. He knows what I like and never needs to ask what I would like because he takes the time to pay attention to what I have been getting as treats so he knows what I am currently liking

Answer

He was kind and generous and put me first all the time, but I really fell in love when my little cat with special needs (she was a dwarf with cerebellar hypoplasia, a grand total of 2 wobbly lbs full grown) was up on his shoulder and peed on him. It was like, a teaspoon, but he just set her down gently, still sleeping, to go get cleaned up. It’s not pretty, but it’s real life with a CVT who takes in all the things that wouldn’t otherwise have a home. That’s when I knew he was my guy :)

Answer

I thought I loved my past relationships but when I met my husband it felt different. The love I have for him is honest. I use to make excuses for my ex's bad behavior because I always dated jerks. My husband is the first man who I actually like. It sounds weird but I almost forced my feelings in the past. Not with him. In the past I was codependent and didn't think I could survive a break up. But with my husband, I know I would survive. He has helped me believe in myself.

what made you love your SO, hubby, partner etc?

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