Can someone please give me tough love… chemical miscarriage, new pregnancy and gender worries

I had a chemical pregnancy at the end of last month and miscarried at 5 weeks. It was very different to the pregnancy with my son which was pretty symptomless. I had constant cramping and nausea from the moment I implanted. Which led me to believe that the baby would turn out to be a girl. While I would love and accept a boy, I would love to experience having a baby girl and it has been a bit of a dream of mine.

I have tested positive today and am pretty sure that it is a new pregnancy. I haven’t had any symptoms so far, just like with my son.

While I am just wishing for a healthy full-term pregnancy, I don’t feel like I have closure from the last pregnancy, which I lost. I will never know if the baby was in fact a girl. I’m really struggling to move on from the loss, even with this new pregnancy to focus on.

I’m of course also worried like crazy that I could lose this baby too and don’t think I’m strong enough to handle that again.

Please, someone be straight with me. How can I cope with all these mixed emotions.