Jealousy and insecurity

I just need to vent here a bit. I’ve struggle with being jealous and insecure for as long as I can remember. In the first year or so of my relationship with my fiancé I was very toxic in how I handled this issue. I would freak out over ever little thing and long story short I’ve worked on it and although I still experience these feelings, I no longer make it my fiancé’s problem and I do not bring these thoughts and feelings to him anymore. That being said, these feelings are so hard to deal with. And I feel so stupid for feeling this way.. the majority of the shows and movies he watches has gratuitous nudity and sex scenes and it makes me sick to my stomach. Having to deal with these insecurities internally and knowing that it won’t change is just really tiring. I know a lot of women on here don’t care if their SO watches porn and whatnot.. I really wish I was that way and I hate being like this.