Help please

Hi. I was in a relationship for 3 years and have now been separated for 4 months. He was abusive throughout the relationship, physically and emotionally. He cheated on me multiple times. I am still struggling with this, and some days are better than others. Some days I’ll think about it and get very upset, and others I will tell myself that it wasn’t abusive and convince myself I made everything up. He is now in a new relationship. I am really struggling and I don’t know what to do, I keep going over things in my head and telling myself it wasn’t actually abuse because it wasn’t a daily thing. Does anyone have any advice