I dont know if I've ever been really turned on

I'm 19 and have been diagnosed with vaginismus and I am having some sort of treatment for it in the form of dilators. I've started to doubt if I've ever really been turned on in the way that most people describe it and it happened because for a long while I could only manage the first size in the dilator set (think the size of your pinkie) and recently I got really turned on and managed some of the second biggest dilator size before I got too in my head about it. It got me thinking, is that how its supposed to be?? But if it is then what am I supposed to do because I only get turned on that much like once every 4-5 months it is super rare for me. What do i do?? I dont even know where to go from here??