Yall, please no judgement. I’m very exhausted. I don’t know what to do anymore. Lately, I’ve think the unthinkable. I love my son to death but my exhaustion is unbearable. I have a husband who sleeps in our bed for 8-9hrs. I never slept with him since I gave birth because I sleep with my son on his room so my husband can sleep because he is “the provider”. It’s killing me. I feel like I do everything 24/7. From entertain son, feed him solids 3x a day and think what he can eat, clean him up and put him to sleep (rocking and walking) and do the same if he wakes up 2 to 3x every night. He is making sure I am next to him or he needs help to go back to sleep. During the day I cook 3x for me and my husband. I don’y have many friends. I don’t have family around and my in-laws are toxic. The only thing I do for myself is to walk in the park daily and eat my favorite food. My family is overseas. I was begging my husband if we can move there for a bit until our son gets a little bigger. But he disagree because he needs to work. He does not allow me to go there with my son because he wanna be part of his life but I think I’m about to loose my mind. Therapy does not help. I did it already. I feel like the situation is just not so helpful for me. I’m trying to be strong for my son. But when he sees me cry. He cries as well and it makes me feel bad.