PLEASE IM BEGGING IF YOU HAVE TIME PLEASE READ…i need your honest advice here!!

long story short my mom was abusive towards me growing up. we never really had a normal “mother daughter relationship” it really affected me. i believe she’s a narcissist, but i’m not sure.

anyways…she lives with me (my husband + two kids). the plan was for her to pay a very small amount per month to us. for the past few months she hasn’t paid anything. so i spoke to her about it and she said she’s having trouble coming up with rent. i told her that’s fine, then if you can dedicate one day a week to help me with the kids i would really appreciate it (i have two under 4 and i’m 6 months pregnant…i’m a stay at home mom) and she doesn’t work every single day. she will literally tell them that she has to have a day or two off to do something every week, so i feel that she could do that for me or even on the weekends.

i told her she can help me in other ways such as cleaning something once a week for me in the house (she has never cleaned anything this whole time). she hasn’t even said this whole time “hey why don’t you and your husband go out for a date night i’ll take care of the kids…”

anyways, after this talk literally THE NEXT DAY she had her NAILS DONE. i don’t get my nails done because i know we just can’t afford it. so i was very upset about that tbh. i didn’t say anything but i was like okay now that is just disrespectful.

she will literally come home late at night (9:30) and walk straight downstairs. even if the house is a disaster because i clearly had a rough day she won’t help. then first thing in the morning as soon as she hears the kids, she will leave the house. these are on days she’s not working. she will spend the day with her friends, around town, or at my grandmothers down the street.

her husband lives in another country and she left and has been there for two weeks now, and hasn’t told me when she will be back. she still hasn’t paid rent for last month or this month (it’s the 4th now). before she left she brought the kids and myself to a play place for a couple hours and told everyone about how she’s doing that. so i’m not sure if she thinks that day specifically made up for rent last month?

my husband just told me from a conversation he had with my grandmother that my mom told her how he does everything, i do nothing. how he works and comes home and does everyone so she feels bad for him. THIS IS SO FAR FROM

THE TRUTH!!! First off i am pregnant. i am a stay at home mom. i am exhausted. he does help. but not more than he should. in fact, we often have arguments about how he leaves messes for me (his clothes everywhere around the house, his dishes, his garbage, etc.) he doesn’t do laundry or anything. i’m the one that has to cook and if i don’t we order out that day. i’m the one that has to do the laundry. if i don’t we don’t have clean clothes. it’s not like he completely takes over. he will just help sometimes by cleaning the washroom for me or whatever. and he is an involved dad.

BUT regardless of what she said was true or not, it’s not right for her to mention anything about my household when she’s living here. ESPECIALLY rent free. like WHAT!

i feel extremely disrespected and hurt tbh.

what would you do? how should i handle this?