How to tell friends struggling with fertility about pregnancy?

Question

Our friends have been TTC for over a year. In august they found out they basically have a 0% chance of conceiving their own kids. They have taken this very hard, as expected. 
My boyfriend and I recently found out I’m expecting. He’s really excited to tell them but I’m super nervous as I know it will be a hit to them. He wants to tell them in person but I’ve suggested doing so over text to give them time to process their emotions alone. I know they’ll be happy for us but I also know it will make them sad for themselves. 
What do you think is the best way to tell them?

Answer

I think everyone handles emotions differently so it would honestly be best to do what you think is right for your friends. You know them best and how they handle things, so I would go with what your gut says. In person would be a hard conversation for sure, but it would also give you the chance to express your sympathy towards them while still sharing a special moment with your friends. A text gives them time to process on their own privately, but also loses the personal touch of it being a conversation and happy moment between friends. 
If they are you're friends I'm sure they want to share your happiness and excitement, so personally I think in person wouldn't be a bad option as long as it's done sympathetically to their situation. 
I hope this helps!

Answer

I think over text would be best. Of course they will be excited for you guys but it will sting at first and I know I would want to be alone in that moment to have whatever reaction may come. I think acknowledging that they are having a difficult time will also show that you’re being sympathetic towards them.

Answer

I was told last year after three back to back miscarriages and just over two years of trying for our second that a work colleague was pregnant. I was totally gutted (felt horrible to be so upset, as it was
obviously lovely news for her) but I wish I had been told by text. I feel like I could have had a fry and then I could have gone into work the next day all smiles, as I had time to think. That’s just me though.

Answer

Just tell them. I spent 6 years of infertility and treatments while people were getting pregnant left and right around me. Sometimes it affected me seeing announcements on Facebook etc etc, other times it would not. But never once was I upset if a close friend or family member was expecting. Each time I've was overjoyed for them. My problems should not be someone else's burden. 
Just be sensitive and considerate to their feelings, don't engage convos over and over again about the pregnancy after you do tell them and so on. You can always start off by saying "i don't know how to tell you because of what you're going through and you mean a lot to me, but because you mean that much to me, i can't not keep this from you" or something like that.  But definitely tell them. 
Anyone who will lose a friendship with you over something like this isn't truly your friend at all. Personally I would be offended if a close friend hid their pregnancy from me just because of my infertility issues. I wouldn't feel like I'm really that close friend after all
Good luck!

Answer

In a similar boat….my friend and her husband have been trying for over a year and I can’t figure out how to tell her I’m pregnant again….she’s known me through every pregnancy and I was just joking around that she could borrow one of mine…she laughed and said you do have plenty to spare lol…. I just feel for her so bad and want her to be a mommy….I’m thinking of texting so she can have her feelings first

Answer

This one is hard. I dealt with this before but ultimately I lost my friend she was so upset that I got pregnant on accident and she couldn't that she started resenting me. I wish you luck.

How to tell friends struggling with fertility about pregnancy?

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