I’ve been friends with Will for almost 12 years and we almost actually had a thing but we were very much better off as friends. I’m married now with two kids and live in a different state but we are still good friends. Will has always been very into fitness and health. He’s the type of guy to take 10 supplements and eat egg whites and spinach for breakfast and spend 3 hours in the gym every day. It used to not be so obsessive but these days I’m starting to think he has developed an eating disorder from some of the things he has said. I know it’s more uncommon for a male to develop an ED but some comments I’m finding extremely upsetting and makes me wonder if I even want to continue being friends with him.

Some examples-

Every time he has a “cheat” food, he feels the need to text me and show me the food and say “I’m being a fatty today”

He is active on dating apps and likes to show me screenshots of women he likes and they are these top top top shape fitness model type of women. Then he will sometimes go on dates with these women but it never progresses and when I ask why he always says something like “they were pudgier in person. I know what I want.”

He is super critical of his body and once after a party at his business, he ate some cake, and then restricted himself the rest of the week. He texted me all he had that day was a kale protein smoothie and wasn’t going to “slip up” again.

He is so hyper judgemental of anyone who is not constantly working out or dieting. He asks me why I don’t prioritize exercising anymore and I’m like “because I have two small kids, one with special needs, and it’s just not as important as other things right now.” He usually responds with “I understand” but will keep pushing it by saying things like I should exercise at night after they’re asleep.

He has said very fatphobic things like “she’s a blubber whale” to larger women celebs like Lizzo.

I sent him a funny video of a fat cat this morning and it triggered the hell out of him and he responded “next thing I know is you’re going to tell that fat ass cat that she’s beautiful and valid” basically mocking the body positivity movement and that you can’t be fat and beautiful.

I really think all this stems from his own ED and possibly body dysphoria. This has been a good friend for 12 years so I don’t want to just ghost him or something but basically I want to ask advice for how to bring up that I think he may need help? These types of thoughts and behaviors aren’t normal to me. Like he tracks everything he eats down to a single peanut or drop of cooking oil. Wwyd? Thank you for any advice.