So I’m having problems with my husband. I’ve noticed this pattern that’s been going on for years. I feel like I can’t confide in my husband anymore. We have 5 children ages 2-18 years old. I noticed everytime my kids confided in me, or they did something they wasn’t supposed to and I took care of it, or even if they got into trouble I had talked with them and took care of it… but when I tell my husband the whole situations that happened, he’d usually wait til the next day to actually scold them behind my back. I usually walk in on him doing it. My husband has so much to say and does not even know when to shut the fuck up! I swear I don’t think my kids needed to be reminded of what had happened the day or so before! I’ve told my husband that what he did was not ok. But he still continues to do this, and my kids had expressed they feel like he’s toxic. I don’t know what to do, any advice/ tips would be helpful!

One of the best examples… I found out my 14 years old son hasn’t had a shower for almost a week. So I responded with “ew that’s gross not taking a shower for a week, you need to go and take a shower now.” I let my husband know about this when he got home from work. He waited the next day to tell my son, who is also autistic, “are you trying to be like one of those retarded people who doesn’t take a shower?” And continues to rave about how it’s his responsibility to keep up with his personal hygiene care, how he’s almost an adult that he doesn’t need to be reminded, so on and so forth.