This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever typed out.

For anyone who watched Saturday Night Live tonight or doesn’t live under a rock, Keke Palmer announced her pregnancy in her monologue. A stunning, talented, black woman in her late 20s becoming a mom. Yet for me, a not so stunning, but talented black woman in her mid 20s just found out yesterday that I am not pregnant and will probably never be due to unknown issues with my uterus.

The one thing I want more than anything, I can’t do. It makes me feel like I’m less than. No matter the number of attempts. No matter the different strategies. At this point, I’m completely convinced that I am barren. So even though I am happy for Keke for doing something she wanted to do for a very long time, I feel numb and I honestly want to just give up.