I dont know how to put this, but I think i need help.

I dont know if im crazy, if im the problem, if something is wrong with ME.

My husband when we got married made me all these promises of having a better life together. I explained to him all my concerns due to having ptsd, depression, and anxiety due to abuse as a child all the way until i was 16. He promised to take care of me and make me his world. He told me i could trust him. So i did, I believed him and moved country for him. When we got married the happiness lasted for maybe 2 months. Nearly instantly did issues begin to arise. Hes not very good at holidays (forgets them / doesn’t celebrate them) he would grab me and yank me out of stores even if i just wanted to go look around. It used to make me SO mad. I had a job and my own money yet he would do this. He never got me gifts unless i specifically stated what it was and when i wanted it because he didnt know how to gift things. Essentially there is no surprises with him. Well i decided to let all of those frustrations go and hope other things would be good.

I told him i always wanted children and when we finally decided we wanted one. He decided to drop out of college. He then tried to switch jobs ended up jobless because he got fired and then his parents told us to move back to the US. So I left. Now im In the US 6 months pregnant alone and confused remembering looking out his window and seeing what he could see everyday and asking myself. Did i trap myself into a bare minimum relationship again. Did i settle for less than what i was worth. I have to ask, my husband seems clueless when it comes to relationships. He never let me follow my passions and once i moved home he requested i work full time to support the baby when he wasnt working / was working part time at mcdonalds.

When i asked if hed help pay for baby gear. He never responded and then asked why they need it now and not when they come into the world. So i never asked again. Ive gotten everything myself or from the girls on here.

I just feel lost. Im sorry maybe it is just me and im being hard on him.