I kind of don’t even know where to start honestly… everything just feels very off, and I’m not in a good place. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depressive episodes since I was 13, and they just never seem to go away. I went through counseling and “got better”. What I mean by that is I was released from counseling because she believed I was “better”, but in reality I lied my whole way through it just to be done with it. At the time, I was extremely uncomfortable with it and just didn’t like having to talk to a stranger. Another big thing is that since this was during covid, and it was completely online, I had to use a video phone to talk to her and seeing my reflection always made me super self-conscious which made it harder. A little off track, but anyways, I know I’m not better and it feels like it’s getting harder. Everything hurts and I don’t feel like I use to. Loving my boyfriend is hard, feeling loved by him is hard. I have separation anxiety and every time he leaves or has to do something I get this pain in my stomach and I start to feel sick. And I feel depressed, like so insanely sad it hurts. This isn’t healthy for me and I know it, but I don’t know what to do. I want to go to a therapist but I don’t know how to ask for help. I’m too afraid to tell my mom I want to go again because then she’ll know I’m not “better” like she thought I was. It’s too embarrassing for my parents to know I’m struggling. I just don’t want to suffer anymore, and reach the point where I just can’t do it anymore. What do I do?