Not feeling this.

I’m just not ready honestly you guys.. I just graduated from college I just got promoted on my job as fulltime higher pay and I already have two boys ages 8&6 I AM TERRIFIED asi feel like I keep making dumb mistakes or soon as I am in a position in life where I am happy and can live a little I get knocked right back down. I feel embarrassed for having now 3 baby daddies although I was in a relationship with my first and the expecting one. I’m just scared for our future and idk how to now do life with another human in it. I now have to readjust everything and on my job I only get 1 half day a month but that day was for taking my boys to Theropy and now I have to use that day to take myself to the obgyn when it’s time. Idk what to do nor how to feel. I just can’t believe this man got me pregnant & some times I honestly don’t see myself with him for the long haul that I feel even worst. And upset at myself