I absolutely despise my in-laws. My mother in law and my sister in law. They are both crazy. My sister in law is always drunk and always fights with someone. Sometimes it’s me sometimes it’s someone else.

My mother in law is always criticizing my parenting and undermining me. My sister in law too. My son is autistic and they don’t believe it, they think he is the way he is because I didn’t yell at him enough and because i don’t spank him or whatever. Every “issue” he has they somehow relate to my “bad parenting”. He gets overstimulated and melts down its because he needs to be spanked. (I don’t spank) He doesn’t talk much because “I put the tv on too much for him”. His receptive language is bad because I “didnt read to him enough as a baby” he avoids eye contact because “I didn’t teach him to be respectful” my son is really very clearly autistic btw, like he was diagnosed after a developmental pediatrician spent 15 mins with him. He is also a really picky eater so he might not eat what is made for dinner and I’ll never hear the end of it. And my daughters hair is really really curly and I try to make it look nice but he’s only 2 so her pony tail gets messy when she plays so they criticize me for making her look sloppy. I mean I could really go on and on.

Usually for the holidays I will take a Xanax or klonopine really whatever pill I have at the moment but I am out currently. Sometimes I take edibles but I had a bad experience last time so I am kind of nervous. It’s absolutely torture being around them but despite how crazy they are, my husband still wants to be around his family for the holidays. So I have to suck it up and go, but without self medicating beforehand I might lose my shit

Any suggestions??? How do you deal with family you hate???

Edit- I’m not really sure exactly how my in laws are bullying my kids? (Really not being snarky, I just didn’t see it that way). My in laws treat my kids and my husband great, they really only seem to have the problem with me. They actually feel bad for my kids that they have a mother who caused them “so many issues” like my mother in law will say thing to me like “oh I feel so bad for *daughters name* I hope you actually do her hair nice when she starts school” basically saying that it’s my fault her hair is so unruly. The bullying isn’t directed towards my children or husband really just me.

EDIT for A- thank you so much for clarifying what you meant, you absolutely bring up excellent points, and to be honest I didn’t actually see it that way since my sons understanding of language is really limited and my daughter is only two. But you are absolutely right, this will absolutely effect them once they have a better understanding of what is going on. Thank you for bringing this up, I am going to read this to my husband and explain why we really need to keep the kids away unless my in-laws are willing to change (which they aren’t). I don’t want my kids around the toxicness and maybe they don’t see it now, but they definitely will. I am willing to attempt to suck it up for myself, but not my kids. Thank you again.