Should I be upset ?

Question

So I broke up with my ex around new years. His control and aggression had worsened with me and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
Being fully transparent, I missed having him around. We have a 4 month old and to know he’s missing out on these moments are saddening. I told him if he went to counseling for his anger we could start working on our family again. I also let him come over and see the baby. We text almost everyday and he still want to do ft calls. I tried to explain to him that we shouldn’t even be doing any of this until he takes the steps that he need to to get better. 
So yesterday I was exhausted, around 5 I passed out on the couch, my phone starts blowing up around 5:30 but I ignore it because I was really sleepy (my ex is the only person that blows my phone up). Next thing I know my mom is like “so and so is at the door”…. So he drove all the way to my house because I didn’t reply within a hour. He said I.t was weird and that I never told him I was going to sleep so he didn’t know why I wasn’t picking up. He felt like I should have communicated that I was falling asleep. I feel like we aren’t together anymore and he should expect me to tell him when I’m falling asleep or text back when he wants me too… 
Should I be upset?

Answer

Not upset but a bit concerned. It feels like he is a bit too much, too intense. I understand you miss him but if you broke up you had your reasons. Set boundaries with him and see how it goes.

Answer

I'd be upset. That's so toxic and controlling. 
He drove to your house because you didn't text him back? Are you a teenager?

Answer

He is still being controlling even though you’re no longer in a relationship. You need to stop being in contact with him until he gets help. That is not the type of person that needs to be around a baby. If you can’t deal with being alone get some therapy

Answer

You should never go to counseling with an abusive partner. You don't really miss him. Don't go back.

Answer

Seems a bit controlling.

Answer

I can see how you and others find this as controlling still, however I can also see it from a parent point of view. You have patterns is how fast it takes you to reply and you suddenly don't reply while also having a 4 month old baby in your care. It makes sense that he would be concerned something happened, but I also don't agree with just showing up at the door. Unless he told you him his blowing up of the phone that he was coming over, in which case you technically had warning you were just ignoring it. You don't HAVE to tell him you're falling asleep, but if you have the baby in your care you SHOULD communicate with the other parent as to whether you will be available to answer your phone or not.

Should I be upset ?

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