I just saw a tiktok video of a woman talking about losing her baby to bed sharing. He was 3 months old.

I bed shared with my first son. I slept on my back. He’d sleep in the crease of my arm on his back that way if he moved or if something felt off instinct wise I’d wake up. Nothing in the bed. No pillows or anything except maybe a baby blanket over my feet. Once he was 3 months I took the bed frame and box spring out in case he rolled off the bed.

But after seeing that video, I started crying because I can’t get my other son to sleep in his bed side bassinet or crib either. He will scream until he holds his breath if I put him in there. So now I’m scared to sleep at all. I’ve tried white noise, no noise, warmed his fitted sheet, swaddle, pacifier, nothing has worked. I’ll get him to sleep in my arms, and gently lay him down, and within 3-5 minutes he’s awake and crying until I pick him up.

I don’t know what to do.

I do the safe 7 sleep thing, but I don’t have a bed, just a huge sectional with an ottoman. The cushion on the ottoman is firm, and I scoot it up to the corner of the rest of the couch but keep baby centered in the middle of the ottoman, while I sleep in a “c” position where he can’t scoot down and my arm keeps him where he sleeps on his back. I don’t move in my sleep that I’m aware of. I always wake up the same way I lay down. I don’t drink or do drugs.