I truly can’t tell if it’s my fault or if my boyfriend is just an abusive asshole.

I could give 100 examples of this same thing. But I’ll just start with today. I was trying to talk to him about how his words and actions make me feel and he brushed it off yet again as “stupid shit”, deflected, invalidated all of my feelings and I had to agree to never bring up my feelings again for everything to be ok.

Just now, I asked him how much he thought I weighed just by how I look, and he said 186. I just wasn’t expecting a number that high and said oh wow, almost 200 pounds? I wasn’t mad, I was legit just like oh damn okay. And right in front of our daughters he said all you do is bitch. You need to shut the fuck up, and you’re a stupid asshole. I said you are so mean to me and he said then leave or shut the fuck up. I asked him, is leaving the only choice I have? And he said he will treat me this way as long as I am how I am… but I’m really not a bad person or partner in my eyes. I do everything he asks of me. Anyways I ask him to please not to speak that way in front of our kids and he said then shut the fuck up. Then repeated shut up a hundred times. Both our daughters grabbed me and wanted me to go in their room, where I am now.

Is it my fault. Was it that annoying of me? I just dont know what to do anymore