I forgot just how much I hate newborns

He has literally been awake for THREE FUCKING HOURS. Cluster feeding, shitting every hour, wide eyed and bushy tailed.

I just wanna fucking sleep. I fucking hate this.

This is first night without husbands help. He goes back to work tomorrow, and has to wake up at 3:30 a.m. so I won't wake him to help.

I am not going to make him more sleep deprived than he already is when he has a decent commute to work on shitty roads. I'd prefer an alive husband than a dead one from driving too tired, in the dark, on shitty roads, in winter.

I'm not going to potentially DIE from being sleep deprived, I'm SAHM. So I will say one more time, it's not SAFE to wake my husband when he has work in the morning.

Would you be saying that if I was a single mom? NO. So stop. It's not a helpful comment. I'm just fucking tired and can't wait for him to be older. Newborns suck. Frankly so do toddlers but at least I can communicate with my 2 year old and she helps during the day how she can.