What would you do? I’m pregnant my sister miscarried

Question

So a little back story, I’ve had 2 miscarries in the past. About 4 months ago I found out me and my sister are pregnant together. A month after that, she miscarried. She went on to send graphic pictures to me when I told her not to. 
I’ve been very supportive ￼of her but it does get old. She still gets her levels checked, even though there’s nothing. I know how it feels, and I try to be supportive.
Every time I go to my moms house (she is literally always there) she leaves and apparently she told my mom, “I can’t look at her the same way. I don’t even know I’ll look at the baby the same way. We were suppose to have babies together” 
Which is understandable, but still… it hurts my feelings, you know? 
I have three other kids. Is she going to try to be in their life and then ignore my fourth? How can I have a healthy relationship with someone with that mindset? 
I know how it feels, having someone in the family pregnant when miscarrying, but I don’t think I’d ever say that.

Answer

She's grieving and people grieve differently. Give her time. How you acted and felt at the time of your miscarriage doesn't mean she needs to act and feel the same way. She's hurting. You don't say whether this was supposed to be her first child or not but if it was, that makes it even worse.

Answer

You post about this at least once a week. Shit or get off the pot.

Answer

Give her time. She is greiving her loss and she is entitled to do so. It's probably harder for her as she was supposed to be at the same stage as you. People deal with these things and greive very differently. Just because you wouldn't have acted like that or said those things, you can't judge her for feeling the way she does.

Answer

The same thing happened to me. My sister found out she was pregnant 2 months after I did, and we were pregnant together and our first kids are 2 months apart. The second time, she found out she was pregnant a month after me, and I miscarried a week later. She wasn’t trying, I was. It took a while for me to not feel upset that she got to keep her baby and mine was taken from me, especially since she didn’t even want kids to begin with. But I love my niece and my nephew like they’re my own. It’s going to take her some time, but she’s not gonna hate your baby. I’d just give her some space and time to process everything, and try to understand how she’s feeling. It feels really unfair when it happens but obviously there’s nothing anyone can do about it. All you can do is be supportive.

Answer

While not exactly the same I have some similar happen. 2 months after having my first child my sister got pregnant and then had an ectopic, then it took over a year to conceive again. Over that time she completely distanced herself from me because I had a baby. It sucked because I have two sisters and at that time me and her were probably the closest ones, she was my best friend. And yet she couldn't be around my son. I was super understanding but it HURT. My son is 3 now and while she has a child I think he ruined the whole relationship with me and my child. He doesn't even understand who she is but yet loves my other sister and knows that's his aunt. I don't judge her for it but it did suck 🥹. And it's just weird because that has distanced us so much and I've tried to bring us closer again but it's like that "friendship" we had is gone.

Answer

My 2 sisters in law were pregnant at the same time as me.
I unfortunately miscarried, they weren’t aware I was pregnant, but before I miscarried I agreed to arrange one of the sisters gender reveal. She wanted me to go to the scan and there was just no way I could see a baby on the screen when I had just had a scan that was empty.
I think you need to value more how she’s feeling and don’t make this about you. She’s grieving the loss of a child, it would be so hard being around someone who is pregnant.
I was lucky enough to get pregnant very quickly again but I really struggled for that few weeks to see anything that remotely reminded me of babies.
She ll take time and you need to be there for her

Answer

i don’t know if you’ve posted about it in the past but i read a post similar to this so idk if that was you but like the other commenter said, give her time. you understand how she feels so don’t take it personally. be there for her because you guys both know what it’s like to lose a pregnancy and you know how painful it is both physically and emotionally.

What would you do? I’m pregnant my sister miscarried

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