TTC can be very lonely! Venting warning!
TTC for 2 years now and the past few months have been very difficult for me. My BF is very supportive and wants to talk when I'm upset and struggling with ttc. But I just can't talk to him most days. He's really sweet especially when he knows that AF has just arrived or I get more bad test results. I know it's not my fault that we have never got our BFP but I can't help feeling guilty. His SA is fairly normal - slightly slower swimmers but no other issues. Me on the other hand well I'm full of issues - endo, adenomyosis, surface of my uterus isn't smooth like it should be (possibly from the adeno), cyst on my ovaries, and very low progesterone. I think that's everything. So you can see why I blame myself. In my head I know it's my issues causing my infertility and that it's not my fault because I've done nothing to cause it. But that doesn't make me feel any better and still makes me feel very angry and totally guilty.
Right now this is all made worse by the fact that I currently know 7 preg women and 6 of them conceived within 1-3 months of ttc or they weren't trying at all. Not that I'd wish these issues in anyone but it feels unfair somehow!?!?
I've had a few people to talk to about this in the past but I can't talk to them right now. So that's why I'm feeling alone and all bottled up right now. Sometimes writing it can down helps. Hence my rant / really long whingey post. In my head I know we'll get there, but I needed to get this off my chest.