So today I should be celebrating hitting the 8 mth pregnancy maker but sadly due to a cord incident we lost Baby Eli at 5 mths. It's rough even now 3 mths later and I so often find myself rubbing my empty belly and wishing he was still with us. We've been TTC for 3 mths now with no success yet and I'm struggling with my longing for instant gratification.
Today I decided that I would paint the nursery. Why not? It's hard to be in there and yet therapeutic too, painting a fresh coat seems to ground me and remind me that hope is still there.
AF is due this week. I honestly have no clue whether she's coming or not. And I refuse to test until I'm late so I'm not making myself crazy over nothing. But even if she does arrive, it is not the end all, be all. It's just a negative test, which is nothing compared to delivering my Baby Eli at 5 mths - so tiny yet already looking so much like my husband.
It's a rough road ladies, this business of getting pregnant. Don't lose hope. Be prayerfully expectant. I know how hard and frustrating it is to see negative after negative test, but when the time is right trust that it WILL happen!
Sending love and baby dust to you all!