STRESS- does it really matter?

Question

Both my husband and I are a couple in our 40's TTC. We run two businesses & care full time for my high care elderly father-in-law who has dementia...
​Some days it gets too much for me trying to work from home and look after my father-in-law. I was told by a doctor recently that stress doesn't matter but when my DH and I were too worn out to BD on my peak day this week it broke my spirit. Common sense has to tell me that stress DOES matter. What do you think? Thank you... Mrs Discouraged

Answer

There is a book called The 36 Hour Day that is for family providing care for someone with dementia. It is a really helpful/informational/and supportive resource. I strongly recommend you check it out, as that is a very stressful job!

Answer

YES IT DOES! This is my first month officially trying,I used OPKs,preseed,took prenatal vitamins,I ate super healthy & drank no alcohol..guess what?
​i just got my AF 4 days early full force.. :-( 
​I got pregnant 3 times before I drank alcohol during my fertile week & during the TWW! I got waaaaasteeed & didn't care about anything ! just had sex & 15 days later boom I'm pregnant :-( 
​
​this month I even lifted my hips in a pillow for 2 hours after sex! 2! Made sure I was on my back always because i read that's the "position" to be! While before I was on top or from the side ,got up & washed immidiatly after sex!

​stress is evil 
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​

Answer

I think high levels of stress does matter, especially if it prevents you from BDing! My DH and I have stressful jobs ourselves and BDing can be quite challenging sometimes. We have gone on a two wk holiday which is over my fertile window to help us be more relaxed while TTC. Maybe a break for a few days will help. 
​Good luck!

Answer

I've often thought about this. I'm a pretty anxious person and have worried that I might be ruining my chances. So then I get stressed cause I stressed. I've read totally different reports. A lot of anticdotal evidence says that it does affect things and what people say to you , relax/forget about it and it will happen, stop trying etc etc and then I've seen a fertility professor say there is no evidence to support that theory and it's awful to blame people for being stressed and failing to conceive. I personally think if you can be as relaxed as possible or certainly is a good thing. I've been doing mindfulness and guided meditations to help reduce my anxiety. Good luck and hope you get your father in law sorted with some help.

Answer

Is it possible to look into other avenues of care for your father-in-law? That is definitely worth a discussion with your husband if you haven't had it already. Sometimes things like that start out as just a little work that you do every so often, and then as the persons health deteriorates, it snowballs into every spare second you are caring for them, without quite knowing how you got there. I hope you are able to figure out a way forward that is less stressful.

Answer

Stress absolutely matters. Especially if it prevents you from having sex. Any chance you can get away for your next fertile period? 
 
​I am sorry for all that you are dealing with. That sounds quite hard.

Answer

I'll add that we do all personal care for my father-in-law, and that he's often aggressive and always nasty when he speaks to us.

STRESS- does it really matter?

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