Abusive ex stress... Advise? Trigger warnings.
Sorry, I'm new... I don't really know where to put this. But I can't talk about it very publicly yet and I don't know anyone with similar experiences....so, please remove if it's inappropriate. It's pretty heavy. And this is the very short version. Please understand my anonymity.
My exhusband (no kids with him. Thank everything ever) was very severely abusive in every way possible. I won't go into detail. Our divorce was final in '08. I've had two restraining order against him and his second wife since and they've had two kids. They were married weeks after our divorce was final and she was 5 months pregnant. I moved out of state,at least in part, to get away from them.
Wednesday my DH and I decided to be officially-sort-of-trying-to-conceive-maybe. (It scares me re:ex...and how awful my life would be if I'd had kids with him. Yes, I'm in therapy. I have PTSD.)
Friday the ex was arrested for assault and battery of his wife in front of the three youngest of her four kids. Both of them tested positive for meth and a "not small quantity" of meth was found in their house. (One of my old friends married the wife's ex...so they tell me. No meth was ever involved in my life)
They tell me Monday night. Tuesday at 6am I get an email from my ex. First contact since my really strong restraint order, which is 7? Months expired, at this point. The email? Just his mugshot and "I thought you'd like this". So, he got the email of the mug shot as his life is totally falling apart- they have lost custody of all kids, can't talk to each other and he's looking at lots of jail time.- and he THINKS TO EMAIL ME! I'm very glad I knew about the situation before the email.
I'm pretty freaked out, as you might imagine. And im ANGRY! That it's still an issue. I'm trying to figure out what my options are without harming my friends ability to get his kid safe. (No, he does not know where I live in the very large city I moved to)
Has anyone else ever dealt with this? We've been divorced 7 years. We were together 9. Just having someone who sort of understands would help me feel less crazy.
Am I nuts for just wanting to move in with my life and have kids with my DH and forget about the ex? He really doesn't want me to and I don't understand why. (Well, it's about power. But he's also dangerous and insane and on meth with weapons)
Thank you for simply reading. <3 if you have been there I'd love advise and I'm sorry that you have it to give.
-M
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