Feeling terrified! :(

Well AF should arrive tomorrow, the O day and well DTD to TTC. Idk why I'm getting so terribly scared... I feel like I'm going to re-live what happened to me 3 months ago. I get pregnant, no heart beat, no heart beat again, baby is smaller--- 2 days later I'm in the hospital having a D&C. I feel a lump in my throat, I'm so scared to start trying again but I so long for our rainbow baby!