Ttc without sex

I just need to talk to someone.. Ive been married for almost 3 years now was virgin when i got married. The sadest part that is killing me is that we never ever had sex. We cant actually. 
​Tried many times but he couldnt insert it in me and i always scream and feel alot of pain that prevent him to continue. We went to doctors made check ups everything is normal with both of us. We love each other and we do everything but when it comes to inserting his in mine we just lose the feeling and stop.. 
​Thats why we are trying to ttc by the home insemination method. He ejaculate in a syringe and i insert it in me. Been doing this for 2 years now with no success. 
​I dont want any bad comments or ideas i just felt like taking it all out because im really sad. The only days im nutral and content is in my period days. But my fertility days are when im moody ,sad and always crying. I really hope and pray daily to get pregnant. Oh lord please just one baby please dont take that away from me. I want to be a mom so bad..  
​Im 7dpo currently please pray for me :) and good luck to you all xx