I'm sixteen. July 3 of this year, I was raped by a guy I had a pretty big crush on. Later that month I began to date my best friend and we started to get into a bit of intense making out but I have a really hard time doing any more than that. I always feel super bad because he gets really turned on but then I have a really bad flashback and I have to stop. He understands completely, I mean, that's why we started dating, but I can't help but feel bad. I know it's only been a little over four months since it happened, but will I ever be able to make out or anything without flashbacks?
I'm asexual, meaning I don't have any sexual attraction and I have been since before I was raped and I've always been slightly sex repulsed but it's really bad now. I really want to have kids one day but I feel like that's extremely impossible.