AF due the 19th. Cycle buddy where r u?

Iris • 30yo. Happily married for 11 yrs, trying for Baby #4. Baby 1 is now 5 and babies #2 & #3 soaring in heaven.
Trying to be patient and wait for my body to do its thing rather than go buy a test and cheat. Soooooo hard! Lol! There's just thg abt seeing "not pregnant" over and again that just feels harsher than AF arriving. 
​Cycle buddy where are you and are you impatiently patiently awaiting AF? 
​Man I'm so tired of that bitch.