Sexually abused.. Does it haunt you forever?

Question

Being sexually abused by 3 men at different stages in my life-during childhood & adulthood. After 3 years I've finally found a guy who respects me so much. We've been together for a year now and all we've done is kiss. I know i want to have sex with him but I am afraid of feeling cheap, depressed/crying after because of my past. He doesn't know my story, he just thinks I'm a respectful lady and loves me for it. Will I ever forget my past?? I just want to be happy.

Answer

You will never forget. But to accept it, you must forgive. It sounds horrible, but I was sexually abused by a very close family member, and I had to forgive to move on. And it's probably about time to tell him what's gone on. He seems like a guy that would understand and talking about it helps! But only if you can trust him.

Answer

Honestly have a chat with him... I did that with my now hubby early on when we were dating.. Definitely helps with intimacy because he knows my struggles and understands when I ask him not to do something... But he knows I am working on things so I can eventually do everything... Without any hindrance from my past..

If he loves you truly, he will help u through together...

Answer

You won't ever forget it. But...it does get easier. I was abused by multiple men and women from the time I was 4 until I was 16, in every sense of the word: physically, mentally, and sexually. I came out with a lot of scars, both physically and psychologically.
Luckily my husband understands, and he's always been very loving and gentle towards me, careful to help me heal without pushing me to do anything I am uncomfortable with. We took it slow my first time. Before he touched me in any way, he let me know exactly what he was doing, and always asked if that was ok, and then if I was sure, if I was ok...he was careful that I was 100% fine. If I said no or stop, he immediately stopped. He still asks me questions when we're trying new things, and I know I can say stop or no at any time and he will respect that. There have been times where we've just cuddled instead, and he just held me and told me He loved me. And I love him for that, because it's taken me 3 years and I'm just now getting where I am curious about trying new things in the bedroom, and I'm less shy about sex. I've gotten more and more comfortable with him, and I've come to trust him completely. But, unfortunately I still have a hard time sometimes.

So if I were you, I'd tell him you don't have a great past with sex, and request that you go slow and set up boundaries. Make sure he understands that this may be hard for you, so be prepared for anything.
Luckily, if he can't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve to love you at your best, so there's no fear. Its all on him if he reacts badly. 
And know that it DOES get better, once you're with the right one

Answer

A shocking 1 in 3 woman have been molested or raped. Almost always by a close friend or family member. It will always always haunt to you but the key to being a strong woman is forgiving them within your own heart and moving on with your life

Answer

Yes it will always haunt you, but you don't have to let it ruin you. Talk with a mental health care provider. It will help so much with processing all of the negative emotions.

Answer

Talk to him tell him what happened if he's the right person he will understand.

Answer

Try a therapy call Dialectal Behavioral Therapy (DBT) it helps a lot and TALK to him... he sounds like a good guy and you dont want to loose him because he may eventually think you are not attracted to him because he doesnt know why you are as reserved as you are

Answer

I was when I was a teen my husband knows about it he is so understanding and patient I think you need to sit down and tell him if u feel you can't til him write him a Letter get it out there holding it in will eat you alive and yes I still have issues but I'm working. Through them one day at a time

Answer

You will never forget and it will never go away. It gets easier to deal with the fear as you grow as a person and move on. Tell your boyfriend about your past. Explain to him what happened and that it does frighten you a little. If he is the kind of person you say he is, he will understand and take things at your pace. Opening up about it does help get rid of some of the anger, pain, fear, and shame. I was raped at 12, molested at 15, and raped again at 21. I know those feelings well and talking to my partner about them has helped tremendously

Answer

My ex husband raped, and choked  me every chance he could get.. it has been 6 years since that has happened. You will never forget, unfortunately but it does get better with time. Honestly, all it took for me , was a good man that truly loved me.. everything will get better, just try to look forward and be happy with the one you're with, and tell him about ur past. He May be the one to help you through this.

Sexually abused.. Does it haunt you forever?

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