Anxiety about birth after sexual abuse?
I was sexually abused as a child. Now, even as an adult, I have an anxiety attack when anyone besides my husband is near my lady parts. I seriously have to talk myself through annual exams and such. I have a 6 year old daughter but she was born via csection after I had an attack during labor (I had a really crappy doctor who insisted on making me feel humiliated even after he knew my history). I want so bad to try for a VBAC with this baby but I'm scared to death of delivery. I know it's what my body is meant to do, but the constant cervix checks and being laid open with a spot light on my crotch terrifies me. I almost have an anxiety attack even thinking about it. Can you ladies offer any suggestions? Has anyone been through this? This is the only part of my life that the abuse still effects and I hate it ??