Well I went to follow up with cardiology today and the doctor kept telling me how horrible it is that I'm pregnant. He asked why I hadn't previously had my tubes tied since I had previous high risk pregnancies, he kept asking and nearly insisting that I have an abortion, exclaiming that it'd be better to save one life over another. I kept asking what the tests showed about my heart and all he would say it that my scans showed abnormalities with a lack of blood flow and oxygen to parts of my heart.

I'm 5w6d today edd 8/27/15 and go in for my first u/s and to meet with high risk doctors on Friday. I can't bare the thought of an abortion, but I also need to stick around for my older children. I'm such a mess right now. What a way to ring in the new year.