6years ttc

Joa
I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for almost 8 years now. In the beginning we were using contraceptives to prevent getting pregnant. After almost two years in the relationship I got pregnant. It was an unplanned pregnancy and we were young, I did my best to take care of myself and the baby but at almost 5 months I had miscarriage. The miscarriage became the most traumatic experience of my life, I delivered my angel knowing that he will not be able to go home with me, and blaming myself for every mistake I made during the pregnancy. I became so deeply depressed I was unable to fully function, I hated Life and resented GOD for letting me go through what I went through. My fiancé was there to help me through the entire process, he helped me forgive and move on. This event occurred in 9/7/09 I have been trying to conceive ever since. I have been to many doctors and appointments no one can tell me what is wrong or any explanation. Recently I have been diagnosed with diabetes and have been getting healthier and losing weight, my periods are become regular and I have been trying to keep track of everything through GLOW. My period is currently 5 days late and I had been debating to take a pregnancy test, because with every disappointing negative results I loose the little bit of hope I have left. After much delay I took a pregnancy test today and it came back negative. My fiancé and I have been growing apart, I blame myself for everything that happened and I feel is unfair for him to be going through all of this with me. I feel like giving up and accepting that I will not be able to be a mother ever again. We are expected to get married in February 2015 but I feel he should start all over with someone else. Can someone please give me an advise, I don't know what else to do.