Have you given up on pregnancy?

I've completely given up. Friends, family and coworkers are all pregnant. I have 7 people in my life pregnant 3 of which are all 18 weeks! I've had miscarriages and an ectopic. My hubby feels every month that we are but I've finally reached that point where I don't have it in me to try, care, or get upset. I used to cry at the BFN and cry when I'd hear pregnancy announcements but I don't have that left in me. The other day a girl at work asked if we are still trying and I said "I'm washing my hands of getting pregnant" I did the hand motion and everything! I shocked myself at 1st but then I realized it's true. It's almost like I'm numb to the whole process.