Just venting lol

I'm so pissed right now. My SO and I have been together for like 15 yrs now and for maybe the past 5yrs or so he is constantly bitching at me for never initiating sex, he is the only guy I've been with so I'm not exactly the best at instructing him what to do to actually get me off and he never does, also this F?@&er gets BJs whenever he pleases. Anyways tonight I suggest we order like a sexy adult kit thing and he makes me feel stupid about it! what a jerk, he's like i didn't want to spend $ we could just have sex, what a turd