I'm crushed

I found out this weekend not through my husband that he has been watching and masterbating to porn for our entire marriage (we've only been married a year)

I told him how it would make me feel especially as a Christian. And I also made it clear yes the porn would be an issue but what would be worse than doing it would be lying and hiding it from me like he did. I ashed me at least once a month if he was doing ok because I know it was and issue before we got together and he would lie to my face and tell me I couldnt do that to you I love you too much. And that hurts so much more than if hed have told me the truth so I could help him.

I know a lot of you will say porn isn't a big deal and I respect your opinion but I just can't ignore my husband enjoying another woman even if it's only on a screen to me it's as if he cheated. Please don't tell me how bad a person I am for trying to take porn away from our Christian marriage. I just needed to get this put there.