Facing the truth...(long)

I was dating a guy who was in foster care. He had come from severe abuse and drugs. I became his friend in 7th grade and we started dating my sophomore year of high school and did for an entire year. He wanted to do things I didn't want to. He asked for pictures and videos and sexual acts. I said no at first but he would always get angry and threaten himself and me. I got to where I never voiced my opposition anymore. Then one day he wanted my virginity....and he took it. I told him no at first then stopped resisting after about 20 minutes and I laid there while he did what he wanted to me. When he was done he drove me back to school ( we were on lunch break) and I went through the rest of my day. The next day his foster mother found my pictures and told my mother and we took him to the police. No charges were pressed for my sake. But I can't help but feel like he got away with raping and abusing me....am I wrong to feel this way? It has sent me into a rut of depression and self harm but I'm on the road to recovery and going to attend rehab. (Sorry for length but I've been wanting to say this for a long time) I'm 17 now.