Help.

I have hypomanic-depressive disorder and I also have anxiety attacks. My SO doesn't know how to deal with it. He tends to sarcastic or gets mad when I start to freak out. I tried explaining to him that I need him to be patient with me. At times, i feel suicidal and I just want to take a vacation from everyone. I told him and he told me that it bothers him that I want to be away from him. I explained that I just want to disappear and not see/have contact with anyone. He tells me I shouldn't have gotten in a relationship, that I shouldn't run from my problems. 
I don't know how to deal with my problems. I have too many traumas. My brain feels like it's about explode! I shake and have flashbacks. Sort of like PTSD. When ever I'm going through a crisis I go to the middle of nowhere and cry while sitting in my car. I try to deal with my problems but my mind starts going crazy!