Soon to be husband wanting Anal

My soon to be husband wants very badly to be able to have anal sex. I on The other hand do not see the pleasure in it. We have tried to on various occasions but it hurts me so bad we end up not having sex at all. I want to please in every way and i know he wants that. Before sex i try to clear my head and relax so u can do it. But just as we get near that point i begin to tense i try to force myself to just do it but I hurt bad. What shpuld i use or do to make this easier and pleasurable for both of us ?