This is my first time posting a topic so I'm not sure if I'm in the right area for this topic? Ah! Hopefully you all don't mind, I just really need people to talk to about this.
Ever since I was a little girl I've absolutely hated my name. I cringe whenever people say it to me or when I introduce myself to others. The thing is, I don't hate it when other people have my name, I just hate it on myself. I don't associate it with good things due to events that occurred when I was still in school. My name is like a part of my life that I want to get rid of. However, I don't want to legally change it since my parents gave me that name and they'd see it as completely disrespectful. Even though they just thought of it when the doctor asked them what my name would be, it's still meaningful to them I guess.
Anyway, my main questions are: Should I introduce myself in real life and online as a name I would like to have, a sort of pseudonym? Is that weird? Eventually I'd tell the people I trust what my real name is. But, I feel like if I were to do that, some would find it as dishonest? I'm just really confused. I hate my name and I want to do everything possible to cut any ties with things associated with the past. Advice?